Skip to main content

Above Water

Avril Lavigne's Head Above Water really hit me when I first heard it, and it continues to each time I hear it.  I was on the treadmill when it came on my Pandora and as I listened, I started to cry.  Today, as it played through my car speakers I tried to put into words how the song speaks to me

I've gotta keep everybody calm before MY "storm" (surgery)

My life is what I am fighting for <-- This line is EXACT. I chose this procedure to have a chance to live a longer life.

My voice is my driving force.  I made this decision, I am my #1 fan, I am my support, I am willpower, I am my motivation, and I can do anything.

God, keep me brave, I will survive this
When it gets rough, don't let me fail, save me from myself
When I get scared, help me shake it off, I need you

I can't see my goals when there is "stormy weather" (bad day, hungry, etc.) and its hard to hold it together, but I can't keep going like this (the way I am now) forever

 I am too young to die

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It makes me sad but it motivates me.  Being overweight my entire life has BUT hasn't effected me. I have a happy life but weight always hangs in the background.  I am sad that I am 30 and I haven't overcame it but I am so motivated to FINALLY overcome it.  Mostly, I am so proud of myself for how far I have come and for making the decision to be around longer for my family. 

Take a moment and listen to the song and hear her lyrics

Click here to hear the song

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2 week liquid diet

Today is the day!  All liquids!  Well, except for the popsicles, jell-o, pickles, and celery.  I have to get in 4 premier proteins and then at least 48-64 oz of other liquids each day.  Other liquids include: Water Diet V-8 Splash Sugar free jello Sugar free popsicles (less than 25 calories per popsicle) Fruit 2-0 Crystal light Diet Snapple up to 2 cups of broth decaf tea and coffee Propel water Powerade zero I don't really know what some of those are and yesterday when I went to look for Diet V-8 Splash to try it out, I couldn't find it so who knows.  This morning I am having 2 vanilla premier protein shakes in a thermos with my decaf coffee.  I also have a 20oz thing of water sitting here and a 32oz grape Powerade zero.  Last night I made strawberry, lemon, and blue raspberry jello, I bought 3 different sizes of dill pickles, and then I have boxes of popsicles, all different kind of broths, all different flavors of Powerade, grape Pro...
Post a Comment
Read more

3 months + 2 days

I GOT A SURGERY DATE!  December 27, 2018 at 8am I will be having VSG ( Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy).  SO, on December 6th, I have to get labs, chest X-ray, and an EKG to ensure I am in top notch health.  I also get to talk to the doctor that day just to go over everything for like the 3rd time and I say that in the best way possible.  Nothing makes me feel better than getting as much one on one time with the man who will be doing the surgery and making sure all my questions are answered.  THEN, I have to be at the hospital at 6am on the 27th and the surgery will begin at 8am; it will last around one hour.  I have to stay in the hospital that night and then I should be able to break out the next day.  I can't drive for one week and I can't lift over 10 pounds for two weeks........EVIE!!! :(  I CANNOT wait to be blessed with this tool that will not only HELP me shed the rest of my weight but HELP me keep it off.  I still have to ...
Post a Comment
Read more

116 lb transformation

So here we are DURING the transformation.  I am excited that there is this HUGE, apparent, difference from August 2017 to now January 2019.  I can't wait to see the transformation that happens in the next 1.5 years.  I have eyes, I have a chin, I have a beck, I have HEALTH!   I am one day away from progressing to Food Stage 3 since VSG.  This means adding in deli meat, tuna, chicken, and really soft veggies.  I did try ham last night and it went just fine.  I tried chicken franks today in some beans for protein and it went fine so I am looking forward to eating more normal.  It is scary to try new foods because maybe it won't agree with my stomach but I want to be able to eat dinners with my family (although it will only be 2-3 oz haha). Pork and beef are off limits for now and I am OK with that.  I made a calendar with our meals for the next month and on it is scallops, cauliflower rice, zucchini, shrimp stir fry, ricotta bake with ...
Post a Comment
Read more