I have been thinking about a post for Evie for a very long time. I love her down to my CORE and its strange to think that most of my life I didn't want a child of my own. While most of my friends were naming their unborn children, I wasn't. Some people didn't understand and they didn't have to, it wasn't for me, or so I thought. I have very little patience and honestly, like I have mentioned previously, I knew I didn't want to pass down any weight issues to some innocent baby. After I met Josh and Gracie, I knew that our family wasn't complete. When we got married we decided to start trying because who knew how long it would take but ya know what, it took about 14 days ☺️. In December we went to a Christmas party and we got a box of funny gifts and one of those was a pregnancy test. One night, and for a reason I do not know, I decided to pull this odd looking pregnancy test out where you have to manually place your pee on to the stick with a dropper and I did it. Three minutes later, it showed a positive. I screamed for Josh to come in and yelled GO LOOK and that was that. He was disappointed in the way I told him but hey, I am not a pro at this lol. The next morning I took a digital one that also showed positive and I left it out for him with a sweet note to redeem myself. We didn't tell ANYBODY except one of my best friends for 3 whole months because I was scared! I had to fake drink and when I randomly cried I had to just pretend I was crazy instead of pregnant haha. We heard the heartbeat and then finally told everybody; most people were ecstatic......others can kick rocks. The pregnancy, when it came to her and I, was magical. I miss feeling her kicks and having that just her and I time. We had a gender reveal party and although we were wanting a boy, I couldn't imagine my life without my little girl. I went into the hospital at 6:15am on 8.30.16 with a scheduled induction due to the high blood pressure and Evie Pearl Young was born at 9:18pm on her Papa Doug's birthday. Her dad called me Pearl the entire time we dated so it was only fitting for her and I am so happy we picked it. She was perfect, she is perfect, and I will tell her that for the rest of her life. As you know, if you have kids, this was a scary but exciting time. I didn't sleep for 2 days because I HAD to keep my eyes on her....that was a bad idea but I was a new mom and I didn't know what else to do. We went home on the 2nd day and when the nurse came to visit, she also told us Evie was perfect. She had beautiful complexion, skinny little legs, and the longest mohawk. The fluid didn't come off of me from labor and unfortunately I was going into congestive heart failure 3 days after my baby was born which meant we stayed in the hospital another night over the weekend but I made it through!
I had 4 months of just me and Evie, everyday, and I tried to come up with every trick in the book to make money so I never had to leave her (thank goodness that didn't work) I cried a lot because who would hold her and love her like me? Who would tickle her and make her smile? Who would tell her that her mommy was coming back and that I didn't leave her? It was beyond scary, and it still is honestly. I found a daycare, she has been there since she was 4 months old, she loves it some days, and we cry other days. I truly believe that she is much more advanced because of the interaction with different ages of kids there. I know that if she was home with me everyday it just wouldn't be the best experience for her. She slept in a rock and play for 6 months, with me for 2 months, and then in a side bed situation for about another 6 months. I knew it was time for her to get in her crib, probably past that time, but it made me sad. I finally did it and she didn't look back. She has always been a good sleeper and still is. The best things I have done for her this far include putting her in her own sleeping space and taking her paci the day she turned 1.
Evie looks just like me only cuter. There are days where I see a little bit of Josh and few people that sometimes say she looks like her daddy, but she is me all over again. Even her little voice sounds just like mine did when I was little and OH MAN does she get her attitude from her mama. They say you are supposed to love your spouse above your children because of this and that blah blah blah but honestly how is that even possible? She is my blood. I created her. I will always love her and its a kind of love that cannot be explained or broken. It's the kind of love that makes you cry because it is THAT MUCH. She comes before everything, she is always on my mind, and I count down the hours until I get to see her each day. When she wakes up, her first word is mommy and before she goes to bed her words are "I love you mommy." She test me and she teaches me and I cannot thank God enough for her. She is my Ev Bo Bev, punkin punkin, little baby, and pretty girl. I want to show her everything that is good in this world and teach her to be just as wonderful. I have a journal I have been writing in since she was born so as she grows and she can read, she will always have those stories from her mama to hold on to. I am going to link some songs that make me think of Evie below so maybe they can help explain how I feel
There are probably a million more I could link but these are the main ones. Thank you Evie for coming into my life and giving me something I never knew I needed. Thank you for making me a mommy and thank you for every ounce of you.
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